Dear Fellow Constituent:
The George W. Bush Presidential Library is now in the planning stages and accepting donations. The Library will include:
- The Hurricane Katrina Room, which is still under construction.
- The Alberto Gonzales Room, where you won't be able to remember anything.
- The Texas Air National Guard Room, where you don't even have to show up.
- The Walter Reed Hospital Room, where they don't let you in.
- The Guantanamo Bay Room, where they don't let you out.
- The Weapons of Mass Destruction Room, which no one has been able to find.
- The National Debt Room, which is huge and has no ceiling.
- The Tax Cut Room, with entry only to the wealthy.
- The Economy Room, which is in the toilet.
- The Iraq War Room. (After you complete your first visit, you are required to make a second, third, fourth, and sometimes fifth visit.)
- The Dick Cheney Room, in the famous undisclosed location, complete with shotgun gallery.
- The Environmental Conservation Room, still empty.
- The Supreme Court Gift Shop, where you can buy an election.
- The Airport Men's Room, where you can meet some of your favorite Republican Senators.
- The Decider Room, complete with dart board, magic 8-ball, Ouija board, dice, coins, and straws.
- Note: The library will feature an electron microscope to help you locate and view the President's accomplishments.
The library walls will be engraved with quotes by George W. Bush:
- "The vast majority of our imports come from outside the country."
- "If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
- "Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child."
- "No senior citizen should ever have to choose between prescription drugs and medicine."
- "I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change."
- "One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is "to be prepared."
- "Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things."
- "I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future."
- "The future will be better tomorrow."
- "We're going to have the best educated American people in the world."
- "One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures." (Said during an education photo-op.)
- "Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it."
- "We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
- "It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
- "I stand by all the misstatements that I've made."...George W. Bush to Sam Donaldson
PLEASE GIVE GENEROUSLY!
Sincerely,
Jack Abramoff,
Co-Chair, G.W. Bush Library Board of Directors
No comments:
Post a Comment