This is beer??

John Metcalfe writes about the weirdness that has infected some in the craft beer industry. Believe me, some of these beers are truly weird. Only those seeking to get noticed in what is now a highly competitive field would offer such inanities. Some examples:

1. (B) A new collaborative beer from Dogfish Head and Funky Buddha is reported to feature"Tanzanian chocolate, oak-fired habanero, and 'salt-salt,' a combination of sea salts – one salt locally harvested from South Florida beaches and one from Rehoboth Beach, Delaware where the Dogfish Head brewpub is located and 15 miles away from its headquarters in Milton."

2. (D) "Bilk" is a Japanese beer made with milk; a reviewer at Beer Advocate claims it has a finish that “tastes like cottage cheese." Cigar City Pickle Beer, from Tampa, "smells wonderfully of cucumbers and dill," says a drinker at Rate Beer. The other two beverages were made to celebrate the world-famous Boston clambake and Independence Day by the fermentation wizards on Esquire TV's "Brew Dogs," who used DNA coded with millions of copies of the Declaration of Independence in their freedom beer.

3. (D) (E) Take a moment to gag over Seattle's "OPB: Original Pussy Beer" (motto: "The Mother of All Beers") and Rogue's "Beard Beer," a brew that just might get stuck between your teeth, as it's made with Brewmaster John Maier's ambient facial-hair yeast.

4. (A) (B) (D) "Piss" beer does not contain actual body fluids, of course, being more of a playful jab at other watery-tasting brands. The Potter drink, like young Harry himself, is virgin. AndDuff is made by an English company that is far, far away from Springfield. 

5. (A) In 2013, Oregon's senate approved for its new "State Microbe" Saccharomyces cerevisiae, colloquially known as brewer's yeast. Certain strains of the microorganism are found in oozing tree lesions and also immunocompromised hospital patients.

6. (D) According to Dogfish Head's website: "Celest-jewel-ale is made with lunar meteorites that have been crushed into dust, then steeped like tea in a rich, malty Oktoberfest. These certified moon jewels are made up primarily of minerals and salts, helping the yeast-induced fermentation process and lending this traditional German style a subtle but complex earthiness."

7. (B) "Brew Dogs" strikes again with a "beer you can inhale made of San Francisco fog."

8. Not real are eel, hoagie, Cheetos, and foie gras. And about those testes: Denver's Wynkoop Brewing has made a Rocky Mountain Oyster Stout that's cooked with the family jewels of bulls, which it describes as the "ballsiest canned beer in the world."

9. (E) In order, "The End of History" is bottled inside a dead mustelid and retailed for $764; "Mikkeller Beer Geek Brunch Weasel" is made from the mammal gut-beans that also go into ultra-pricey kopi luwak coffee; the "Brew Dogs" team made beer on a lightning-quick California train ride, just because it had never been done before; and Sapporo produced a "Space Barley" beer using descendants of grains grown aboard the International Space Station ($110 for a six-pack).

10. (B) (I) The Zappa beer was from a long line of Lagunitas beers referencing the musician, and the Grateful Dead IPA is from Dogfish Head and does indeed include granola.